Speculation always hangs by a thread between life and death.

I was chatting with a colleague. He used to trade at an investment company, and was a senior futures trader responsible for futures speculation, with trading funds in the tens of millions.

In the stock market crash of '15, he suffered heavy losses in stock indexes, including his own account. At that time, his child was about to be born, and because of previous losses and after much inner struggle, he decided to withdraw first and stabilize for a few years.

He said he was a grassroots player, different from the academic types, focusing on unilateral moves and avoiding arbitrage. He mentioned that making a wrong move would result in complete loss. The massive losses in stock indexes back then were just a momentary occurrence.

Futures were instantly liquidated, and a lot of traders were directly ruined by a midday policy. He sighed, saying, "What's the use of ten years of experience?"

Risk control was also of no use at all.

He admitted that for a player who had just suffered huge losses, and was at the most difficult time for most investment companies due to stock index restrictions, finding a job was extremely difficult.

"Many people only see the glamorous side of traders, but most of them don't have good results. Traders have low base salaries and mainly rely on commissions." He had a friend who used to work at Jiusan Oil and Fat. In the soybean bull market in 2006, he made less than 100 million yuan for Jiusan, but he was very lucky. He became close friends with investment tycoons Xu Wangguan, Ge Weidong, and Chang Muping, and used the bonuses he earned to buy a house in Bayuquan and Harbin directly. However, later on, when he worked with him at Hubei Yihua Chemical Industry, he blew up countless positions and owed a lot of debts, instantly becoming infamous. But he stubbornly refused to sell his house. However, he couldn't continue to stay in Beijing and now makes a living as a fortune teller in the Northeast.

"There is another guy who received a bonus in 2014 and directly bought a Tesla worth over 700,000 yuan. In 2015, he also blew up and had to sell the Tesla to pay off his debts. In comparison, he had a relatively plain experience."

"That's how it is with futures trading. Other people's lives may have one or two major ups and downs, but in futures trading, you have to go through many. Qingze said in 'A Dream Once in Ten Years,' 'Wandering between heaven and hell alone.' It's not an exaggeration at all. I have experienced it several times. I made a 550% profit in a week, earned twenty times in two months, and then completely lost it in a very short period of time." He lit a cigarette and continued.

"So people who do futures or forex trading have very numb emotions. They rarely feel pain or excitement; it's like that most of the time."