Are you DINKs? Tell me about how much you do or don’t enjoy your life pls (20s & 40s are both welcome, 30s also if you're in this situation)
My partner and I are thinking about having a little one. I'm really excited about becoming a parent, but I'm also mindful of the financial side of things. I'm keen to hear from others who've been in our shoes. I reckon I'm a family person, but with the economy being a bit shaky right now, I'm unsure if it's the best time to start a family in my 20s.
So, if you're already a parent:
- How are you going financially? What's your lifestyle like?
- Do you ever feel left out from your friends who have no kids?
So, if you're already a parent:
- How are you going financially? What's your lifestyle like?
- Do you ever feel left out from your friends who have no kids?
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Skoljil : Hey there, just wanted to throw some good vibes your way. It's tough out there, especially when you're going through the emotional rollercoaster of trying to start a family. Your wife isn't the only one feeling the weight of it, you're right there with her.
My wife and I know the struggle all too well. We tried naturally for two years, had a miscarriage, and then decided to give IUI a shot. But before we even got the chance to buy the meds, she got a surprise positive test. Now I've got this three-week-old angel sleeping on my chest, and it's all worth it.
Hang in there, buddy. I hope everything works out for you and your family. Sending you an internet hug, a high five, and all the positive energy I can muster!
没有咖啡的吃茶店 : Hey there, I'm not kid-free by choice, but more like life just never lined up for me to have kids. Timing was off, wrong partners came and went. I even thought about going solo like my cousin, but by the time I hit my mid-30s, I was loving my life just as it was. Adding a kid to the mix would've been a huge adjustment.
Financially, I'm in a good spot. Paid off my primary place, working on a beach house for retirement. Take international trips every year. Might even be able to retire or slow down in 5 years or so.
I do miss hanging with my kid-having friends and being a part of their kids' lives, but I've also got a great group of non-kid friends who keep me entertained. And none of them regret their decision either.
When I'm gone, my estate will go to my siblings and some to my nieces and nephews. But I plan to help them out financially before then, too. Our family's got a thing for being the Bank of Relatives.
No regrets here, life's good!
MONTA CFA : I'm not a DINK. From a financial perspective, raising a child is somewhat like paying your SUPER. In the early stages, you continuously have to cover expenses, but when you grow old, they will pay you back both financially and emotionally. I think the joy and fulfillment of raising a child outweigh the financial payment and lifestyle adjustments.
Cocona33 : Hey there! As a parent, I think it's important to spread the word that having kids isn't a necessity, and you should only do it if you're fully prepared for the life change. I'm not a genius, but I think I'm a pretty good and involved parent. It bugs me to see so many people in my generation complaining about parenting or being clueless and inactive as parents, making a mess of things. I know there's a connection to the economy, but overpopulation and its impact on society and the planet isn't sustainable, and it seems like no one wants to talk about it except me.
Lysander : There's a group of my parents' friends in their 50s and 60s who are going through some tough stuff with their grown kids. Some of them are dealing with major issues, like being cut off by their kids or losing them altogether. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, you know?
One of them tried to refinance their house, but their adult kid had been messing with their account and ruined their chances. And the kicker? They didn't want to report it because they didn't want to make things harder for their kid, who also has drug issues and has stolen from the family. Messy stuff, for sure.
But on the brighter side, one of their friend's kids actually saved his dad's life when he had a heart attack. That's some real-life hero stuff.
And speaking of challenges, a friend of my partner in his 40s has a daughter with disabilities that caused his marriage to fall apart. His life is super tough, but he loves his daughter deeply and worries about her future.
I've also heard of two families who lost their kids to overdoses in their 20s. It's a harsh reminder that watching your kids grow up and start their own families isn't always a guarantee. If you're thinking of becoming a parent, you gotta be ready to accept whatever life throws your way, good or bad.
juujuuu : Hey 51IDN, I'm also in my 20s and grappling with similar thoughts.
I don't have a partner. Truth be told, I don't think I'm particularly attractive to men (not self-deprecation, just being honest). I've focused more on building my career and increasing my income rather than showcasing my feminine charm.
But I still aspire to be a mother. My childhood was marred by deep hurt. Family abuse and a lack of care—yeah, I think that's enough said. I've managed to build myself up with the help of knowledge, information, and connections found online (on platforms like Discord, Twitter, Reddit, etc., and of course, moomoo).
I was severely mistreated by my original family, but what I want to heal my past trauma is a stronger connection. Even though I treat my relationship with myself very well—I can confidently say that—I still feel that something is missing, something that can be completed by two people. I want to take care of my own child, to experience the entire process of a child's growth, and to watch her/him mature into an adult. I believe this experience will help me complete the final piece of my self-healing journey. I hope this is helpful.
8mg6u3VG6z : I am in my 20s and I have a nice family. But I think I am not ready to be a parent. So DINK now but maybe change it later. Who knows?
51IDN OP juujuuu : Hey juujuu, u almost make me tearing...
whatever, hope everything goes well on you.
JC7577 : No DINKs tho I hope so. No matter what, a child will bring u different life experience.
YL Trade : As I parent. I will say just go for it. The world always has its problems.
The problems in the future will be future problems.
Now and always will be a good time to start a family especially when you are still fertile. Do not wait till later time when you are lacking energy, fertility and time.
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